Sunday, January 13, 2008

Sliding down the slippery slope

No, I'm not talking about yesterday's fun 9-mile ski that I did. No, I'm confessing my Moment of Weakness that I just had, where Bad Carly won without contest.

First of all, I'd decided that today would be my No-count day, where I wouldn't worry about my calories and would allow myself one day to eat freely. Pretty much every diet plan that I've seen that seems to work for folks long-term recommends a cheat-day or free-day once a week. So, since today's my rest day, I figured the two would complement one another to make for a nice Sunday.

The morning began as I'd planned... I got up 1/2 an hour before Jim needed to get up so that I could make coffee and breakfast (I know, I'm too sweet... but actually the gesture was in thanks to him for making the coffee and quietly slipping out of the house yesterday, letting me sleep in, and also not perstering me to go check cows with him at midnight). I'd bought one of his (and my) favorites-- a tube of orange sweet rolls (just bake and slather with icing). I had 3 rolls and 2 strips of bacon. Bad, yes, but not horrible. Especially considering that today's lunch is salad, and dinner is bbq sandwiches with slaw and beans (I made the slaw with fat-free yogurt and low-fat mayo, and did the beans from scratch with much less sugar and fat added as what you'd normally find). So even though I knew the day was going to be a splurge, it wasn't going to be too bad. And I was mindfully splurging-- not counting, but also planning ahead to make sure I didn't do too badly.

Then I had to run to the bakery to get some buns for sandwiches, and as I approached the counter to pay, I saw a pan full of brownies in the display. "I'll take these buns and one of those brownies," I said. Before I knew it, I'd hopped in the car and devoured 2/3's of a very large brownie. Ugh!!!!!! What was I thinking?! I didn't need that at all. It wasn't even all that good! And now I feel like crap, both for mindlessly falling for something totally crappy, and because it's sitting in the bottom of my stomach like a bomb. Crap.

It makes me wonder if starting off the day with crap is a worse idea than I thought. It always seems that once I start eating badly, it just continues on, and I somehow rationalize decisions by saying "well, you've already killed the diet for the day, might as well keep eating crap." But actually, the decision wasn't even that conscious. It was seriously like the Bad Carly alter-ego just took over everything, fueled by her sweet roll and bacon grease.

I think I'll try avoiding that slippery slope in the future, and even on my No-Count days still try to start off the day with a healthy breakfast.

(Note to my dear readers... if you ever feel like posting a comment, either to give an Atta-Girl, or to say "way to go, dumbass", you can do so by clicking on the "0 Comments" at the bottom of the post, and then type in what you have to say; you can sign up for an account, or just do it as "anonymous" and sign your name to the end of your comment.)


Robyn said...

Tomorrow is another day, chica. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Just pause and re-focus on "breath and form". We all have these moments.

Anonymous said...

Hey Carly, I found your blog via Robyn. My goals are similar to yours. My sweet tooth is legendary, and my extra lbs. are slowin' me down.

Just wanted to say you inspire me, and reading your entries has educated me, as well. Sorry about your bad day. If you're interested in unsolicited advice from a complete stranger, I recommend killing the reference to bad or selfish anything. It's all you and it's all good. If you don't take care of yourself, who will?

Plus, those orange cinnamon rolls do that to *everyone*! It's a known fact. :)

Hang in there!

Claire in N.C.

Anonymous said...

I agree about the slippery slope- if I eat a crap item of food early in the day then I go into self-destruct mode and go "Well I already messed it up, might as well really enjoy myself now" and then I eat a bunch more crap, including some that doesn't even particularly appeal to me. But likewise, if I start the day off well by consciously eating something healthy or doing some excercise then I am more careful with my food choices for the rest of the day because I don't want to ruin my great start. It's so admirable how conscious you are of (almost) all the time of your food choices. You have great willpower! ~Wendy