What goes up...

... must come back down.

After a few weeks of enjoying a Runner's High, I had a yucky run Sunday and have felt kinda cruddy since.

According to my schedule, I was supposed to run just 6 miles on Sunday. But I was feeling pretty good, decently rested, muscles felt good, and so I decided to run 12 miles with the Advanced Marathon Plan folks. My justification was something along the lines of 12 is still shorter than 16 or 18, so it's a bit of a break, not increasing my distance from last week, and thus giving me a bit of a rest week and since I missed the 14 miler a few weeks ago, it sure wouldn't hurt to do 12 this weekend and we're running the trails on up into the Rattlesnake Recreation area, and so it'll be a fun route and totally gorgeous, so I want to run farther.

All good rationale. And I felt decently good for the first 4-5 miles (except for being bummed that Patricia wasn't there to run with (turns out she showed up late)). But around 5 miles in my stomach started feeling yucky. And continued to feel bad the rest of the run.

Which began a whole host of other issues to whine about, including (but not limited to) the following thoughts:

this trail's really rocky and uneven and I'm not used to this and my hips are getting sore and ow, I just stepped on another damn rock! and who the hell puts trails in rocky places anyway?

it's 9:30 in the morning and already friggin hot; we should start our runs earlier; who are the whiny crybabies who don't want to get up early on a Sunday morning so we don't have to run in the heat?

I could just get up and run by myself earlier; not like I'm running with anybody right now anyway, 'cause they're all faster than me

why do I do this anyway? so I can get constantly reminded of how slow I am? why am I so slow? how come I can't run faster? how do those other people run so much faster? this sucks.

i'm cranky. i'm having a bad run. i hate having bad runs, they make me cranky. maybe i'll listen to music to cheer me up (turn on music; flip through several songs) all these songs are stupid. i'll just listen to the birds. oh wait, no good birds anymore becuase it's too damn hot, and all i can hear is my breath and my footsteps running over these stupid rocks anyway.

crap, I have to poo again. third time on this run (fourth time for the day), and I used all my tp on the first one. so yay, more wiping with leaves. did I mention that this run sucks?

I hope Anders isn't still waiting there at the 3 mile mark with the aid station. I'm so far behind everyone, it's embarassing. I'm always one of the last ones, which is bad enough, but I'm especially slow today what with my poo breaks, rolling my ankle on a stupid rock and having to walk for a while, having to walk up the stupid hills 'cause they're kicking my butt, and having to walk down the other side 'cause running down jostles my stomach too bad and makes it more upset. yeah, I hope he's given up and gone on back to the trailhead.

oh but he better still be there, I want some cold water.

okay, there he is. (grab some water, say thanks for waiting, continue on) just 3 more miles to go. that's not far. no big deal, Self, you can do that. oh, but if someone were to offer me a ride back to my car, I'd totally take it.

oh really? would you? is that what training for a race is all about-- getting a ride when things get tough? why don't you quit whining and dig down and find some guts and keep on running.

oh, I have guts. they're about to come right up. Yeah, I think I'd feel better if I could puke. at least then I wouldn't feel so bad about being whiny, I'd have a legitimate reason for feeling like a wuss.

(no puking occurs, but I contine to walk/run the remaining 3 miles, feeling like crud the whole way) okay, almost back. go grab some snacks and chat with the other runners. oh, but look, they're all leaving right as I get here. probabaly better-- now I don't have to pretend I like running.

Ah, what the mind can do when the body is slightly unhappy. And vice versa, in a very circular way that's hard to discern which is driving which.

All I know is that the run sucked. But an hour after I finished it, I was at the running store turning in my Marathon Registration Form and money.

Yep, I'm sick.

No really, I am kinda sick... my tummy's still not really happy. I left work early yesterday and went home and slept a lot, and I still don't feel great today. Not bad, but not great. Like I have a little bug that I'm fighting. (is it a bug, or is it the Grumpy Worm?)

Who knows. Luckily, in my world of Funky Fysics, what goes down must eventually come back up. So hopefully I'll be able to get fully rested and recovered this week, and be ready to rock out 18 miles (on a gravel road, not a rocky trail) this coming Sunday.